What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What are 10 interesting facts about you?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What is your daily motivation and does it work?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Can someone write me a sex story?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What is your most erotic sex story?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why do people who were very kind and loving once become cold-hearted?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

TEXT:

Why do narcissists keep calling on the phone after years of separation?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Is it considered rude to comment on someone's weight? Is it simply stating a fact?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What is the most gay experience with your dad?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why do women wear less clothes compared to men?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What are the common formulas for improvising ornaments in bel canto singing?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Does any other guys get turned on by dick pic makes you lick lips because you what to suck?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.